


Dear Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

by VBaekSon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hogwarts, Letters, Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 19:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15493398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VBaekSon/pseuds/VBaekSon
Summary: "She confiscated my lucky snitch, Moony. The one from the Magpies game. I can barely think straight."In which some of the Marauders try (and fail) to get one up over Professor McGonagall.Written in letters.





	Dear Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

**Author's Note:**

> This just happened because my uni's Literary club had a "creative letter writing event" (sort of, dunno how to explain it better). First ever (complete) fic, hope you like it!

Dear Professor McGonagall,

                           I’m writing to you because I swore an oath of silence and I have assumed it to be the ‘not-speaking’ kind. It is with stupendous panic and remorse that I must inform you that Sirius and James have been taken under by the giant squid. Remus is doing the best he can, but I am doubtful of his chances against a creature so great and so far out of reach; accomplished as he may be. I can be of no assistance to him as I am currently in the Owlery, doing my duty to my (perhaps soon to be departed) friends as best I can. It would be ever so kind of you to PLEASE SEND HELP.

Thank you,

Yours Sincerely,

Peter Pettigrew

* * *

 

Dear Mr. Potter,

                          I have received a very interesting letter from your friend, Mr. Pettigrew. He seems to be under the impression that you and Mr. Black are currently languishing at the bottom of the Black Lake. I shall be writing to him presently, assuring him that the two of you are in no immediate danger (of the mortal kind), as you are currently hiding behind my office cabinet. Might I add, Mr. Potter, that your invisibility cloak is truly remarkable – I have never encountered another of its like. Most unfortunate, really, that Mr. Black’s shoelaces were untied when you came in. I haven’t the slightest idea what you’ve been hoping to accomplish, but I do hope it’s been a productive half hour for you. Feel free to show yourselves out – I’m sure there are other matters that require your attention.

Yours Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

PS: Detention will be at 1700 hours on Saturday, my office. I’m sure that by now you are well acquainted with it, so please be on time, and do bring along Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew.

* * *

Dear Mr. Black,

                        I _told_ you she noticed, you absolute git.

Yours Truly,

Prongs

* * *

 

Deer Mr. Potter,

                       And I believe that _I_ told _you_ that this was the _worst_ idea that has ever been come up with in the history of wizarding-kind, right up there with cockroach clusters and _Snivellus_.

Yours Truly,

Padfoot (up-your-****)

* * *

 

Dear Padfoot,

                     Cockroach clusters can come in handy (especially in relation to Snivellus). Also, I fail to comprehend how Snape constitutes an ‘idea’.

Yours truly,

Prongs (your-arm? Like the pokey kind of Prongs, not the antlers)

* * *

 

Deer Mr. Potter,

                        As punishment for your sins, I shall not be on first name basis with you for some time to come (an hour at least). As for Snivellus, I _wish_ he were just an idea in my head.

Yours Truly,

Padfoot

PS: Please leave the puns to me.

* * *

 

Dear Wormtail,

                      ABORT MISSION. The cat is out of the bag. I repeat (for emphasis, since it isn’t possible that you misheard me, since this a letter) THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG. Make for secret hide-out #17, and whatever you do, _do not_ alert Moony.

Yours Truly,

Padfoot

* * *

 

Dear Padfoot and Prongs,

                         I just found Wormtail passed out in the Owlery. Don’t bother trying to cover anything up, there’s a letter from McGonagall here as well. I can’t _believe_ you were stupid enough to try and break into her office. And since I’m sure the two of you can’t be bothered to keep track, that’s the _third_ detention you’ve received in the past 24 hours. I hope you’re aware that if things get any worse, I will be forced to revoke your Hogsmeade privileges.

Yours Truly,

Moony

PS: Padfoot, the cat jokes are getting old. Siriusly.

PPS: Wormtail just woke up. The giant squid, Prongs? Really? Not your finest moment. I don’t know how he managed to talk you into it, Padfoot.

* * *

Dear Moony

                    She confiscated my lucky snitch, Moony. The one from the Magpies game. I can barely think straight.

Yours Truly,

Prongs

PS: You wouldn’t _really,_ would you?

* * *

 

Dear Moony,

                    I was weak.

Yours Truly,

Padfoot                   

* * *

Dear Prongs,

                     I know, I was there during class. And later, when you went on about it all yesterday evening. And at breakfast this morning. And then during Charms, Herbology, and lunch. You realize she’s bound to give it back eventually?

Yours Truly,

Moony

PS: It’s either that, or have McGonagall throw you off the team.

PPS: Doesn’t McGonagall love the Monroe Magpies?

* * *

Dear Albus,

                   Mission accomplished. That will be 50 Galleons.

Yours Truly,

Minerva McGonagall

PS: Are you sure I can’t keep it?

* * *

 

Dear Minerva,

                   50 Galleons says you can’t keep it from him for another week.

Yours Truly,

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

* * *

 

Dear Albus,

                  In the words of our ever so eloquent counterparts across the Atlantic, you are on.

 


End file.
